Total Liberation CHAPTER 1 "Introduction"
Introducing Cidney Green
This is I:
Cidney Giavon Green.
I am a business woman.
I am kind.
I am loving.
I am loyal.
I am spiritual.
I am playful.
I am giving.
I am nurturing.
I am affectionate.
I am sensual and sexual all at once.
As you can see from the list of facts above, I have much more to offer other than my body.
However, that does not mean that I am opposed to offering that freely as well.
Freely; this means both as I please and when I please.
Many may wonder what I am about. Well wonder no more.
My MO is unconditional happiness and uninhibited freedom.
Mix the two together, and you have Total Liberation.
I desire to help those who are ready to become truly joyous and guilt free.
But please do not confuse me with a teacher. I am sure you will learn a lot about yourself by reading my work. So I guess I am a “teacher.” Indirectly.
However, I am no expert on anything.
I am just an obnoxious storyteller who loves having millions of people all up in my business.
I simply want to share my insight and journey. Things that have happened to me.
Let’s jump right into it.
I adore who I am so much, that I am totally comfortable with sharing intimate details of my life.
I will be frank.
I will be bold.
I will be vulgar and vulnerable.
So get ready because I love my tongue too much to bite it.
I have come to find that caring what others think of you is a terminal dis-ease. There are some things everyone must understand before they can begin to become happy.
Controlling others in an attempt to make your own self feel better will make you emotionally ill, and physically sick. Work to stop that unhealthy behavior.
Attempting to make others comfortable with your choices is a dreadful, losing battle. Stop fighting it today.
I read an article once. Some folks interviewed several people on their death bed. They inquired about the biggest regrets in their lives. An alarming number of the dying stated that their biggest regret was, “Caring about what other people thought far too much.”
They went on to say, had they not been so concerned with the insignificant opinions of others, they would have lived more fulfilling lives. These poor souls did not do half of the things they truly wanted to do…and for what? For whom?
I might not know it all, but I can say with complete confidence that on my death bed, I shall say nothing of the sort.
I do not live for my mother, father, grandmother, younger brother, my lovers or anyone else on this Earth.You can never run out of room for growth. I live life as I please.I don’t care who agrees.
How they feel can only affect me if I am not solidly in love with who I am. That is something I work on daily.
I am a woman who loves men. I always have. I desire more than one.
Love is not something with an, “issue limit.” It is abundant and limitless. Love is what I am, in the most literal sense. When you get in touch with that aspect of who you are and merge that with another, you create what I call a lover.
Let’s define “lover.”
The term is not limited to those who I share my body with. A lover of mine refers to anyone who I have had inner, or outer, course with. Outer course is a mental, spiritual, or emotional connection. I have the pleasure of enjoying both.
Being that I am love, and love is fluid and free flowing, how could I possibly limit it to just one person?
Just one? Forever? Really? Why?
The idea of monogamy, to me, is laughable. ONE person for the next 100 years? That’s just like saying, “Eat fish ONLY, for the next 100 years, and if you even look at a steak you are an awful, disloyal human being!”
Sure, I COULD chose to eat only fish for the rest of my life, but it would not be very much fun.
As a matter of fact, continuing to eat only fish, while truly desiring some variety will soon cause some resentment don’t you think?
It might not happen in the first 30 days or ten years…but when that desire for variety is suppressed…it can cause major issues.
Speaking of food and variety, why do you think so many people love eating at buffets? I can tell you why: People like having options.
I have always been a buffet fan. It has always felt so…freeing.
I did not have the pressure of having to choose just one tasty dish…or missing out on anything. There was no pressure to make up my mind between two or more meals I thoroughly enjoy. My love for fish does not suddenly disappear upon ingesting steak or chicken. I don’t like having to choose. That’s the beauty of buffets.
Nothing is wrong with regular restaurants, if that’s what your heart desires, but the bottom line is: Having to choose between two or more things that bring you pleasure is subjecting yourself to meaningless internal strife.
And for what?
Oh that’s right. Other people huh?
Or are you cutting something pleasurable out of your life for your own sake?
Think about it.
This lovely world is filled with endless buffets of beautiful men who want to love me. I love to indulge. I don’t believe in self- deprivation.
Most confuse sexual freedom with carelessness. It is quite the opposite; due to my love and adoration for myself, I am very selective. If it is my energy you desire, you must qualify.
I am the deliberate creator of my world.
I spend so much time working on me, my vibrations (thoughts and feelings) and my own inner happiness that only wonderful people show up in my experience.
The people I allow into my life MUST (by LAW of Attraction) meet a vibrational standard before they CAN even meet me.
It is LAW.
Anyone who tries to make me choose, chooses to eliminate him/herself. I love Cidney too far too much to tell her no. I must spoil her and grant her every wish. Moreover, I will not tell Cidney no, to tell you yes…She comes first because she knows what it is like to be sixth.
I was not always this way. I used to be monogamous and I used to struggle with self-worth.
It took years to get here. Lots of tears, journal entries and honest looks in the mirror.
But let’s not confuse this with “completion”. That will never happen.
I am still fine tuning my vibration. I am still committed to getting better. Loving myself more and being even happier. The journey never ends. I have so much more to learn, and that excites the hell out of me!
Many folks think my “lifestyle” is all about sex but they are simply uneducated.
Sex does not create my happiness. However, one of the reasons I am so happy is because I AM sexually free.
Let’s shift a bit shall we?
Recently, I watched the epic film, “She’s Gotta Have it” by Spike Lee and saw myself all in Nola Darling. I respect her boldness and unwillingness to accept the idea that she was sick or a “freak” just because she had the WOMB (balls are weak and fragile. The Womb possess all the strength of the Universe) to live the life that she chose to.
She was young.
She was free.
She was loved.
She was liberated.
Sounds just like me.
Another thing I loved, was that all of the men truly cared for her. She was not just a “piece of labia”. She was valued by all of her lovers because she was incredibly special.
Even though Nola was not monogamous (like her lovers sometimes wished she was) I think her strong sense of self was a huge part of what drew her lovers to her. This trait is also what kept them around when it got tough.
They loved her unconditionally…as did she.
What many disregard about living this life is that in order to attract people that love you unconditionally, YOU must adore YOU, minus the conditions. That goes for any type of relationship.
However, the level of security that is required to be poly is something serious!
You have to let everyone else off the hook and check yourself on the regular.
Your emotions are your responsibility. As long as you have that foundation, all will be fine.
I say this because this is not a one way street.
My lovers have lovers as well, and I am not bothered by that at all. As a matter of fact, I completely support it because I know love is not something that can be taken from me because it is what I AM!
The bond I share with each lover is OUR bond, and the only ones that can screw it up would be US! Love is abundant…it was never designed to be rationed.
I have no use for the feeling of jealously because there is no comparison or replacement for Cidney Green.
If I ever find myself doubting this fact, I know how to handle that! Nothing is wrong with asking for help, but ultimately it’s an INSIDE JOB!
All the external reassurance cannot assist you if you are imbalanced within.
Let’s take this a step further:
In my opinion, one of the cruelest things you can do to your mate is limit the amount of love they can receive. You have no way of knowing how someone or something makes another person feel!
I would never tell another, “You CANNOT love her or connect with her in any way! ONLY ME.”
Not only is that an uncontrollable condition, but it is downright cruel!
That “bitch with the big ass” could help him in many ways: Mentally, Spiritually, Sexually, Emotionally, and Financially.
WHO THE HELL KNOWS??
I have no way of knowing the true extent of the connection! (When I say this, I am not insinuating my own inadequacy by any means.)
All I need to know is that she gives him a feeling he enjoys. And seeing him happy adds to my own happiness. WHY would I want to interfere with that again?! Hell, his connection with HER could benefit me in many ways! You never know!
I know, this is an “unorthodox” point of view.
It would be better if I said, “If you meet someone who gives you a good feeling you should ignore it. When you are not with me, I want you miserable.” Right?
Sound more like it?
When more people stop trying to put a choke hold death grip on love, like its some non-renewable resource, and realize that love is ABUNDANT AND LIMITLESS, then and only then can people get out of the “starvation” mode and experience what true UNCONDITIONAL LOVE is SUPPOSED to feel like!
Now that I got that off of my chest, let’s get to the real MEAT (pun intended).
I am the modern day Nola Darling.
Just like you got to know Nola’s lovers, now you will get to know mine.
All of them give me different feelings. All of them are dear to me. They all represent different parts of how I am.
They all challenge me in different ways.
They all make love to me differently. No one comes second, and I pride myself on the fact that if I never told these men that they were not the only ones, they genuinely would not know any different based on how I treat them. I think that’s how it should be.
Meet August, Antonio, Cash and Sheena…
Why don’t be begin with August…
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